As the weather in Thailand is almost ALWAYS hot and humid, we had the doors open at the office/guesthouse today, to let in a breeze. The wind wasn't the only thing the blew in today. Two birds came gliding in the doorway and circled around the living room. I was transfixed by the surreal scene. (I recently watched Inception, and now question reality, ha ha). I stood there amazed for a while, until my more practical boss suggested that I open the windows and doors in the house and try and help them to fly out.
The birds flew upstairs and into a fairly large bedroom, so I quickly shut the door behind them and opened a door leading to the balcony outside and freedom. They flew around the room confused for a while, landing on curtain rods, lamps, the bed, but seemed to avoid their only source of escape. I couldn't understand, the room was dark, the only light was coming in through the open door, yet they shied away from it. I was verbally encouraging the birds (yes, I was talking to wild animals), "Go towards the light! Come on, the door's right there, you can be free. Why won't you go outside? It's where you want to be." And then I realized how frightened the birds were. I could see their hearts beating so hard their chests were thudding. They were reacting in panic and flying into walls. It felt so distressed and helpless watching them suffer. I wanted them to be free but they had to find the way out for themselves. All I could do was encourage from the sidelines.
I think I felt sad because I realized I relate to their situation in more ways than one. Sometimes I hide from the thing I need most, I run away from the light because I'm scared. I feel trapped and helpless, and want someone to show me the way out.
It also reminded me of some of the people we've met along the border. Life has become so terrifying that they react and live out of fear and panic. When everything is stripped away, and all you possess is your own soul and family, your children are hungry and crying, desperation sets in. You have to dig through garbage to find food. You will do anything to help them. You would lie, beg, cheat, steal, even go to prison, and some have. Where is their way out? Where is the open door, the light? Where is their salvation and hope?
Sometimes I feel like we're lights on the runway, trying to wave people in the right direction and help them find the way. We are not their salvation, but we know the one who is.
The birds eventually found their way out.
