My re-awakening

I feel like I’ve experienced a re-awakening of my faith in this fall!

I’m so excited to share what has happened in my heart. This past year I’ve walked around with blinders on my heart and they’re starting to come off and I’m seeing God for the first time in a totally different way.

I’d become tired, bored and cynical with church and my faith. It had started to not mean anything to me. The words from the bible that I’d memorized when I was a kid had lost their meaning I’d heard them so many times. Christian-eze (you know the words we all use that makes the world look at us funny and wonder what the heck we’re talking about) had really turned me off and made me leery of going to church at all. I associated a lot of scripture with judgment, condemnation, legalism, and boring sermons.

I wanted fresh faith. A renewal of my love for him. A love like I’d never known.

But I didn’t know how to get there.

It all started when the training program Compasio is running began teaching us about father heart of God. I read the book, alongside The Shack and a few others with the same theme and was blown away.

God really loves me.

Really.

(And not only that but he likes me!)

He cares about my life, and has good plans for my life.

This sounds elementary, but I am finally ‘getting’ it. Something clicked and sank in. I’m trying to erase the hard drive of my faith and re-learn who God is (with fresh eyes). I’m trying not to get hung up on certain language or phrases that I usually automatically tune out. I’ve started reading scriptures from The Message translation and it’s really opened up a new world to me. I mean, these scriptures are ALIVE and totally make sense for my life today! So fresh, and full of meaning and saying exactly what my heart feels.

Instead of a do and don’t list I’m finding Jesus’ words of love and teaching that makes sense to my heart and mind.

Like this verse from Ephesians 5:

“Observe how Christ loved us.
His love was not cautious but extravagant.
He didn’t love in order to get something from us
but to give everything of himself to us.
Love like that.”

Now THAT really makes me want to love like he does!

I’m finding a Jesus I am fond of, and who is fond of me! A God I want to follow, love and worship. Not because I have to, or should out of guilt, duty or appearances, but DESIRE to out of a place he’s deeply touched and begun to heal. My heart.

“He stood me up on a wide open field. I stood there saved- surprised to be loved!
Now you’ve got my feet on the life path.
Ever since you took my hand
I’m on the right way.”
(From Psalm 16).