Lessons in giving from beggars

So, I went to the street restaurant today, where we feed the beggar kids, armed with supplies, colored pencils and a stack of white paper. I only had to park my motorbike at the front of the market when the first lady approached me. She was dirty and her hair was a mess, she was carrying a toddler in a sling around her. She made the universal sign for hunger, of hand to mouth then an outstretched hand for a donation. I motioned in sign language, let's go eat over there! (She speaks Burmese and I speak Thai, so sign language is used a lot here). We went down the alley way to the restaurant where rice is only 10 Baht a a plate (30 cents). Along the way we picked up the usual suspects, all our street kids. Sometimes there are only 3 or 4 that we find in the market, but today 13 showed up! (I guess word gets out fast!) We all sat down for a meal at the table with green peeling paint. I held the adorable chubby toddler while the mom ate. The sad, hopeless look she had while begging had been replaced by a beautiful smile. I was blown away by her beauty.

Another mother showed up, the mom with red stained teeth and a gaggle of kids that all beg for a living. She has a newborn, who recently had a high fever, and should NOT be out on the streets already picking up diseases at this tiny age. I asked to hold the baby, and she wrapped his bottom in a dirty blanket in case he felt the urge to pee on me or worse (this has happened to my friend Sia before, we have it on video!). While I held the red faced, weakly crying baby, I prayed aloud for him. Now I don't usually just bust out praying for people, but the urge came over me, and it just seemed natural. So I prayed that God would bless this little baby's life, keep him safe and healthy, and that he would grow up and have a good life and hopefully escape the cycle of poverty. I spoke to him gently and said "I'm sorry this is the life you were born into, you couldn't choose where you were born. But now that you are loved. Jesus loves you SO much, and we do too."

He kept crying hungrily, so the mother, who was still busy eating, picked him up and handed him to the other mother, who, without giving it a second thought, pulled up her shirt and started nursing him. My jaw dropped open, I had never seen that before! I've heard of wet nurses, but never seen someone just pick up and nurse someone else's baby! But somehow, (even though it was weird to my western mind) these ladies just knew, this child is hungry, let's feed him. I wonder if they even knew each other... but they saw a need and they met it. What did they possess? Nothing, but still managed to give and meet needs of hungry children.

The children and I had fun coloring, writing abc's and I learned how to say Dog in Burmese (Kweh) from a 12 year old boy named Noh-deh. For a few minutes, they were just children again... we really want to get a drop in shelter started for these kids, so they can just have a safe place to come by and hang out, get food, relax and play.

Yes, Jesus loves me

Last night was such a special time with the babies. I had just recovered enough from my stomach illness that I was finally able to venture out of the house (for the first time in 3 days), and I hadn’t seen the little ones at the safe house in so long. So I went over there around 8pm to say goodnight to them, they met me at the door with huge excited hugs and said, “We heard you were sick, so we’ve been praying for you!”

These kids are amazing! Back in June they were living on the streets, had no real family and came from a Muslim background. Now they have been at the house over four months and tell me often things they’ve learned like, Jesus loves me!

And Saja, the 8 year old budding artist, always asks me to sketch with him and I asked him, “What should we draw?” And he said, “Prah Yesu, Jesus dying on the cross for our sins. And then down below lets draw all the children in the world. Jesus loves everyone. And then here, let’s draw me, really big, looking up at Jesus.” Awww. I am SO proud of them. They are really growing, both in their love and care for others and in their love for God and letting God love them.

And that night I got to tuck 2 year old Ali into bed, tell him a story, and sing him some lullabies (he requested “Jesus Loves Me” because he can sing along for the chorus and do the sign language to “Yes Jesus Loves Me” and then at the end of the song we always clap and say Yay!), and then I patted his back ‘til he fell asleep. He was so precious. I love sleeping children.

Love amidst persecution

Loving our enemies and praying for those who persecute us? Was Jesus being serious? Can we really learn to love those that abuse their power and hurt innocents. 

Today I met some people face to face who are seen as many people's enemies in Burma. Although they had a slightly tough exterior from being at war and who knows what kind of experiences, I still saw their humanness underneath. Everyone has justification for what they are doing that makes it okay in their minds. I found myself wondering, how can things go so wrong that you can justify killing people from your own country? I wanted to hate them for what they were doing, but found that I couldn't.

Paul was even someone who killed and persecuted christians. His life was radically transformed and he became someone who changed history, wrote books of the Bible and built up the church. Jesus calls for us to love, but he also calls for justice. For standing up for the rights of widows and orphans and those who are treated unfairly. 

My soul struggles to make sense of what I've seen. I've seen the faces of the victims of war (in the refugee camps) and now I've seen the faces of their oppressors. They were once brothers and sisters, and now they are torn apart and have learned to hate each other. What about all the innocent children that are born into this war torn country? They cannot decide which side of the fighting they are born on. Who will help them? What will become of their lives?

I read this tonight and was challenged by it:

"The Dalai Lama... was driven from his own country and witnessed the systematic killing, torture, oppression, and expulsion of his people." yet... "is free from any hatred or bitterness toward the Chinese who ravaged his land and murdered his people. He says "They too are human beings who struggle to find happiness and deserve our compassion." Jesus took upon himself the suffering of all people and made it into a gift of compassion to his father. That, indeed is the way for us to follow." -Henri Nouwen

As I am surrounded by so much pain and stories of abuse and neglect, and sometimes meet the abusers as well as the victims, I am constantly reminded, that those who hurt other people are deeply hurting and wounded at the core themselves. Something inside has been damaged and the pain causes them to lash out and inflict their inner pain on others. In the case of Burma, it's like the whole country is suffering. I don't have any answers of how to change the huge problem and I know my knowledge of the situation is so small, but my heart cries out for God to healthe deep pain of the nation, and brings justice and mercy and also compasion to the leaders of the country. Would you join me in praying for transformation and healing of this nation...? 

Something beautiful

Last week we discovered a 91 year old grandma living down the street from our safehouse in a little hut by herself. She has no one to look after her, and she has lived in poverty often going out without food, never bathing, and everything she owned was dirty. She has been so neglected. She has open sores on her legs from where she fell down (and no one was there to help her). We were so sad and shocked to see her living all alone in these conditions. The first day, we gave her a bath, wrapping her in a sarong, and sitting out in the sunshine, we poured warm water over her and scrubbed away layers upon layers of built up dirt. Her body is so fragile, my fingers can wrap around her arms and legs, she is literally skin and bones.

Everyday little by little, we've gone over to help her, washing her clothes, cleaning her house, bringing food, and bringing the children to play with her. They both love it, it's so amazing to see these kids, who used to live on the street and live in pathetic conditions but now who live in a place where they receive love and care, come over to her house, feel sorry for her, offer to help sweep her floor and wash her clothes, and sit with her. Her eyes simply light up when they're around.

Today we got to buy some new clothes and shoes for grandma (she only had 2 mismatched worn out flip flops and raggedy stained clothing). After a bath and powdering her face, and combing her hair, she put on her new clothes and we all had tears in our eyes, something beautiful was happening.

We replaced her musty very dirty bedding and ripped up mosquito net and replaced them with a new clean mattress, sheets, pillow, blanket and net. I love being able to help people in this way, it makes all of us smile.

Praise God that we discovered grandma, we've received such a blessing from knowing her, and she has been able to receive so much love and care as well. She is a source of healing for the children, and also receives healing from her loneliness from being with them. It's truly a blessing from God that we met her. It has brought meaning and purpose to all of our lives. Even the community is coming by to visit her now, bringing food, curious about who all these kids are that are visiting her.

Love and blessings to you all! I hope you can share a taste of this beautiful something that is forming here.

I got to attend a conference on friday on child protection. My heart almost broke when a friend there told me that children orphaned by the cyclone in Burma sing and pray this song at night:

"Hide me now, under your wings,
Cover me within your mighty hand.

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are God.

Find rest my soul, in Christ alone
Know his power in quietness and trust."

Village visit

This past weekend was a valuable time in which I learned through a feeling of loneliness the strong desire of my heart to meet and be filled by the heart of God. I had been through some personal experiences that left me feeling a little sad, overwhelmed and disappointed. I was comforted by the sweetness of God as I traveled throughout the countryside of thailand. Whenever I get outside the city, I look for a field or a tree I can go sit under, take a journal and find solace and pray and God always meets me there.

This time I went up to Chiang Rai, with my roommate Sia, for her friend's wedding. It was an interesting cultural experience, and many of the Akha hilltribe ladies came dressed in their beautiful traditional outfits they've handmade. We stayed in Sia's mother's hut and slept on the floor at night. The view from her house was amazing. It was a great time of being together with her family. The village was like a clash between ancient and modern, Check out the satellite on the side of this grass hut!

Living in the in-between

What can I say? On one hand I'm wondering how long I can really stay here. I'll have to cut corners and make money stretch, but that's fairly easy to do in Thailand. I can survive here on little. I get all caught up in this weird complex feeling guilty for support raising enough to fulfill my budget, because the refugees here live on the very very basics and sometimes not even that. Fish paste and rice, and sometimes there's enough soap and mosqito nets. So how can I possibly complain if I have to start eating on a couple dollars a day? I feel poor in comparison to my friends in America, yet wealthy compared to my friends in thailand.

I also want to help people here with what I have, but am I just throwing money at a problem and creating a cycle of dependency? What is the right thing to do here? I can't just ignore hungry kids either. I can feed and clothe a few kids, but not all of them. What about the rest? There are always more children that need food and clothes. They keep pouring over from Burma each day. I feel bad helping some and not the others. But if we don't help the "some" no one will be helped. This is tearing at my brain and heart.

Continuing the legacy of date night with Dad

Hi Daddy!

I was reminded of you because of what we're doing tonight. We're taking each of the kids in the safe house out individually, one a night, for date night! They need some special one on one time to know they are loved and special. These kids have come from abusive families and have lived on the street, begged for money, picked through garbage of people's meals to find food. And now they are in a loving home, being well taken care of, fed and clothed and every need provided. They get to go to school and go on fun outings like going to playland and to a waterfall (where we took them last week). They must think they've gone from paupers to princes and princesses. I just read a scripture last night that reminded me of this:

He stoops to look, and he lifts the poor from the dirt and the needy from the garbage dump. He sets them among princes. He gives the barren woman a home so that she becomes a happy mother.
Psalm 113: 6-9

We're taking them to this amazing place that we call the jungle restaurant that has huge jungle trees and vines and curvy paths past a lake. It's a bit like going to disneyland. The kids are each going to receive a gift that encourages them in their interests (art, photography, etc.) that we've noticed in them.

Thanks for all the dates you've taken me on Dad, and for telling me I'm special and encouraging me in my giftings (so I could come here and do this for someone else).
I love you!
Rachel

Living the life I've dreamed of

It's been amazing getting to know the children in the safe house for street kids. Spending time with them, hugging them, playing together, feeding, changing and bathing the little ones, praying and singing "Yes jesus loves me" with them (it's so cute, the 2 year olds do the sign language and shake their little fists up and down and sing along), but it's also VERY tiring. I'm freakin' exhausted! And it's been less than a week (with 6 kids) but 12 hours a day + is nuts. I don't know how mom's do it EVERY day ALL the time.

We're trying to start homes that have a mom and a dad, and no more than 7 kids per house, so they feel like real families not institutions, and so the kids can get the love, care and attention they need. It's such an incredible difference between the life they grew up with (begging on the streets, sleeping there at night, getting beaten, living in fear, hungry, dirty, cold, tired, etc.) to where they are now.

They've been living in the safe house for a month now, they have all the food they want, real beds, people who love them (they KNOW this, they surprisedly remark "she loves me!" to other people in thai). They're learning to share, be kind to each other, clean up after themselves, take care of themselves (bathe every day), and even get to have toys, go to school, watch tv, go to the park and tomorrow we're going to a waterfall! They're starved for love and attention and always cuddle up with us, but are more secure than they were last month. They laugh and smile all the time. And the house is full of love. It's so awesome to see the ways they are growing and changing.

But pray that I and the other staff get rest, don't get sick (cause we're starting to), know how to love the children, and that all their needs would be met and they would rest securely in the love we give them and the love of the father.

Things to do before I die #17: Start an Orphange.

I love that I got sent a reminder of this today via email. I made a list sometime during college of 43 things to do before I die, and randomly every 6 months or so, the site will send me a reminder of one of the things. Today it was a reminder to: Start an Orphanage. It's just awesome, because although I'm not starting one, I'm joining a ministry organization that is, and I spent the whole day (my first day here in Mae Sot) with 6 orphaned kids at a safe house, and pretty much my whole next year is going to be like this.

I also made a pact of sorts during college with a friend of mine (Yo Haz!) that when she was finished with med school in 8 years (making the year 2008) that we would start up a street kids home. She was gonna do medical stuff and I was gonna love and care for the kids. Well... it's not exactly happening in India (yet! Who knows...!) but it's kinda funky that this is where life (or God) has taken me and I end up doing that very thing in SE Asia in 2008.

Living the Dream (as my friend Courtney would say!)
I love that this year is going to be full of adventures and that my awesome organization is so flexible and has given me freedom to pursue the things I love. So when my friend asked me "What is your Dream?" I said... "I think I'm going to be living it this year!" Doing art with kids, Getting to be a Photojournalist of sorts, writing stories, learning a new language, digging into a new culture, living with Karen hilltribe people, helping refugees, street kids and orphans. Wow, God is amazing and has blessed me with such a sweet opportunity. Check out the website Compasio.org to learn more about my org.

What's on YOUR list of things to do before you die? Please post comments in response! :)

Wow, what a full two weeks this has been. It has been one of the best short term trips I've been on. It was very sad to part with all the good friends I made (both Indonesian and American team members).

We spent Sat-Weds at an orphanage in Kalimantan (Borneo) hosting an arts camp again. We had dance, music, art and creative writing classes for the kids. We also had some fun Indonesianteam building camp-type games involving cheering, blindfolds, bananas, leaking water cups and flour. (only ONE kid threw up after choking on a banana so we consider it a success). There was also a game where each team was given 5 minutes to create a costume for a jungle queen or king, using only things you can find out in the jungle. Those kids were SO creative and wrapped banana leaves, vines, flowers, together to create amazing outfits and headdresses! Then we had a fashion show with their green outfits.

Our goal was to let these kids know they were special loved and valuable. One special memory was sitting in a classroom while Olivia (a team member) read "You are Special" by Max Lucado to the kids. I think the kids understood the message of the story, that it doesn't matter what people say about you or what stars or marks they give you based on your looks or performance, all that matters is that the creator made you unique and he loves you the way you are. The kids ended up turning this into a play and performing it on the last day. They also sang, danced, and displayed their artwork. I think it was a week they will never forget, and hopefully the message sank deep into their hearts that they are loved, beautiful and precious to God.

There was also an amazing Indonesian film crew that came along and made a short film while we were there. So the children got to see themselves on the TV which was very exciting, and probably made them proud of their culture and stories portrayed in the film.

I'm about to begin the next phase of my journey and travel up to Chiang Mai and then onto Mae Sot and begin working with the Burmese and Karen people there. I'm excited not really knowing how everything's going to look yet, but knowing God has good things in store. There are more people that are going to be joining the team and coming on staff, so pray that our hearts and visions come together and we'll be a great team! :)

Thanks for all your prayers and emails, they keep me going!
Love,
Rachel

Indonesia

June 21, 2008 

Hey Friends, Just wanted to let you know I've arrived in Indonesia. I'm here with a group of five people and we're going to be doing an arts camp the next two weeks. I'm excited to see how it goes and toget to know the kids at the schools here in Malang, and then out to the jungles of Kalimantan. I'll be helping lead the visual arts program and we'll be doing lots of painting and helping kids dream and tell their life stories. So please pray that goes well and that the children's lives will be spoken into. 

Indonesia